Dear Ann Taylor:
What exactly, may I ask, is the purpose of manufacturing blouses with small buttons and large buttonholes? Do you subscribe to the 1950s sexist ideal or the 1990s power feminist ideal that cleavage in the workplace is better? Do you just not have enough money for bigger buttons? Or does it amuse you to witness this scene every five minutes?
JJ: (Typing away.)
Top Button: Pop!
JJ: Aw crap. (Glances around surreptitiously. Buttons self.)
Middle Button: Pop!
JJ: WTF? (Lifts arms to button shirt.)
Top Button: Pop!
JJ: Goddamn you all!
All Buttons: Pop! Pop! Pop!
I know I am a zaftig young woman and I buy my clothes accordingly, but there is only so much I can take. My 34C bustline may belong to a large shirt size, but unfortunately, the rest of my body does not. There is only so much compromising I can do. Do I buy a large blouse that provides ample cleavage coverage or do I wear a small one to avoid swimming in yards of excess material? In the event that I actually do purchase a large blouse, please note that I am already sacrificing much of my pride by taking the bigger size, but really, you don’t have to destroy my dignity by having the blouse fall open anyway because your retarded designers can’t fit the right button to the right buttonhole.
Regards,
JJ
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