Yes, I Am Aware I Am Spoiled Rotten, Thank You

In a few short weeks my internship at Ye Olde Literary Agency will come to an end and then I shall be put to the task of finding entry-level positions in the sinking industry that is publishing. Oh god. Why, oh why, did I choose to make this lateral career move right as the industry decides to implode? Are there any literary agencies looking to hire an assistant? (As much as El Jefe adores me, there is no position open at Ye Olde Literary Agency.) I promise I shall be good and fetch the agents coffee and read their slush and write good reader’s reports!

In some ways I feel like I’m back at university because my parents keep asking me when I’ll come home to Los Angeles for vacation. I need to cover for La Junior Agent when she is at a conference in May, but afterwards I figured I would go and bask in my parents’ love and hospitality for a week before starting the job hunt in earnest.

The difference, of course, between Student!JJ and Current!JJ is that I am financially independent of my parents. They paid my rent and bills three years ago; I pay my own rent and bills now. Financially Independent!JJ needs to find a salaried job with benefits soon (I can strain Uncle Sam’s grace no longer). My parents know this, yet they seem to cling to this happy idea that I will be home for an extended “summer holiday”. Case in point: they have invited me to vacation with them in Cancun for a week in June (they have a timeshare there). Expenses paid, as though I were 17 again.

It is so tempting.

But what if I find a job before then? Jobs are so scarce in publishing as it is, I’d better make myself readily available for any and all opportunities.

But…! I’ve never been to Mexico! (Sad for someone having grown up in California, eh?) Pyramids! Caribbean blue water! MY PARENTS ARE PAYING. Gaaah, what to do?

I think I may have to go. After all, when will I be able to travel to Cancun by my own means? Probably never.

Well! Regardless, just to prove that I am really am dedicated to books and my love of stories, here is a “liveblog” of a few queries we’ve received. I read a lot more manuscripts than I read slush as El Jefe is established in agenting and not as hungry for new clients. Also, he doesn’t accept email queries.

I had some thoughts about high fantasy the other day as I was talking with my friend Jess (the other intern on my floor), but those shall wait for another day.

1) Ooh, a family story (not saga) with really specific details. Characters are vivid and the relationships are complicated. El Jefe might like this. Request.
2) Interesting sci-fi premise that I would read, but is not for El Jefe. Also, is a tad too long.
3) I think I’ve found my first genuine regretful rejection. Art historical fiction, similar and not at all similar to Tracy Chevalier. (To date, I’ve only liked one work: THE GIRL WITH THE PEARL EARRING. Everything else has been…awful.) I like this and I read the sample pages (we ask that you don’t send them, but remember, queries don’t have to be perfect) and it’s clear the writer can write, but I don’t think this is for Al. Alas, this will be a no.
4) Query for novel in the midst of revisions with absolutely no information about what it’s about except that it would fit El Jefe’s list. No.
5) A recommendation via a client so I will request it, but ehhhhhh.
6) This is a rare instance in which my personal beliefs are colouring how I read a query. I do not support Creationism. At all. Ugh.
7) Bland, bland, BLAND.
8 ) No details but oh god the premise is kind of amazing. Request.
9) Interesting idea but the elements don’t coalesce in the synopsis.
10) Writer wants to be Ayn Rand. Writers is not Ayn Rand.
11) We do not represent screenplays. However, the query itself is hilarious.
12) High fantasy with no personal stakes. No.
13) Really interesting horror novel, but I don’t think this is for El Jefe.