How she wounds me with her accusation! Although it is true I sit in the middle back seat of cars (if I can’t drive or sit in the front) because I am now prone to carsickness that can only be alleviated if I am facing forward and can see where I’m going. See? That should exonerate me from being Rebecca Black; a SoCal girl would never get carsick. (Wait…)

But the real clincher is this: I could never be Rebecca Black because she is from Orange County. Bitch, please. We keep it classy in Pasadena.