Uncreated Conscience

Ka'anapali Beach, Lahaina, Maui

Greetings from the Westin Ka’anapali in Lahaina, Maui! My body is absolutely confused as to what time it is. My family and I flew into Kahului Airport last night around 4:30pm Hawai’i time, which meant it was 7:30pm in Los Angeles, and 10:30pm in New York. Coordinating daily phone calls with Bear was a bit of a challenge as he is now six hours ahead of me. I woke up around 5:30am here to a beautiful silvery full moon was hovering over a lavender and indigo ocean in the pre-dawn light. I’m excited; it’s been five years since my family and I went on vacation together. Unfortunately as I seem to have forgotten my camera battery back in LA, I can’t photodocument everything I normally would, so you will have to make do with a random photo of Ka’anapali Beach I found online.

But gloating over being in Paradise is not what I meant to blog about. I bought and finished GRACELING by Kristin Cashore several days ago and meant to review it before I left Pasadena. Without further ado:

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I meant to review both EVERNIGHT by Claudia Gray and THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH by Carrie Ryan this weekend but I was somewhat incapacitated by extreme fatigue. Why? I’m not sure. I was fearful of coming down with some sort of illness, but after having slept all day Sunday, I awoke this morning chipper and ready for work (albeit out in New Jersey–the commute was surprisingly easy this morning). Saturday I hung out with Katranna, wherein we discussed our favourite types of books as she cooked me food (she’s so awesome) and had tea.

Floating about the brain this morning is the stigma of science fiction/fantasy. All over my Twitter account is this article about SciFi channel changing their name to SyFy in order to shed its association with “geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games.” Firstly, excuse me, but I’m a geek and quite proud of it. I am also dating a geek in medical school and while we love our video games, he’s also decidedly not dysfunctional (well, more than usual) or antisocial (he’s actually more social than flitterygibbet little me). I generally find that geeks and nerds are the most interesting sorts of people to talk to.

Secondly, the name “SyFy” is simply ridiculous. No one, but no one, is going to read that and think “Hmmm, I wonder what that stands for. Perhaps this television station is full of interesting, non-genre related programming!” I’m not sure why network execs think that this move is going to prevent them from being “held back.” There is an audience for everything and while science fiction and fantasy are certainly somewhat niche, so are chick flicks and Lifetime television (there’s a stigma attached to those as well). Know thy audience; it will probably serve you better in the longer run. What have been the big blockbuster movies of the past five years? Comic book and fantasy movies. Spiderman, The Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Harry Potter. Ain’t nothing wrong with science fiction and fantasy; they seem to be pulling in the big bucks. SciFi Channel has seen an increase in viewers in the past year, but I think in these rough economic times, it’s because science fiction and fantasy is a great form of escapism.

Thirdly, I take umbrage with the assumption that genre consumers are by and large 1) male and 2) antisocial and dysfunctional. I am girl, thank you. I am also probably freakishly well-adjusted (despite my attempts at the contrary). I am a girl who likes to read and write fantasy and graphic novels with two lovely parents who would rather have me shot than mooch off them by living in the basement (of which southern California doesn’t have any). Science fiction and fantasy is not merely elves and sorcery and other tropes and clichés; it can span anything from Charlie Kauffman’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to Haruki Murakami’s THE WIND-UP BIRD CHRONICLE to TV’s LOST.

More on fantasy as mode on another day. I did promise to review a few books after all.

Reviews of the following after the cut

1. The movie Tropic Thunder
2. EVERNIGHT by Claudia Gray
3. THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH by Carrie Ryan

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I know I promised to review some books & I swear that shall be done. Mostly I haven’t had time during the day and at night I come home and immediately fall into bed.

Books To Be Reviewed After the Cut

1. The Queen of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner
2. The King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner
3. The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson
4. 100 Girls (a graphic novel) by Adam Gallardo & Todd Demong

Yesterday was primarily spent on an organizing spree for my boss at work but I was allowed to wade through the queries at the end of the day, which I had been looking forward to since my day one. Most of my time at Writers House has been spent reading partial and full manuscripts and offering my editorial comments but I really wanted to jump into the slush pile and pick out the stuff that interested me. (Instead of reading the requests of my predecessor.)

Of course, I have to keep my boss (and her boss)’s reading tastes in mind–thrillers/mysteries (which I’m afraid I have no eye for), women’s fiction/romance, and health-related non-fiction–but after a while I got into the rhythm of looking at genres I wouldn’t ordinarily pick up.

You know, I always thought that Miss Snark might have exaggerated some of the ridiculousness of the queries that land in her inbox but I was wrong. Very wrong.

Dear Prosaic Slush Slogger:
I refuse to read a 250,000 novel-in-progress. I don’t care how “unique” and “creative” the hook is (which it isn’t); no one in her right mind would willingly read an unfinished 1000 page novel about ghosthunters.

Dear I Have A Personal Relationship With Christ Slush Slogger:
If My Friend Jesus were any bit as entertaining as the idea of Buddy Christ I would have requested you…

Dear I Can’t Read The Directions Slush Slogger:
If you can’t obey simple instructions, then you deserve to rejected outright.

Dear My Book Is Fiction–I Swear!–But I Need To Give You My Life Story In My Query Slush Slogger:
You’re not kidding anyone.

Perhaps I am mean. Perhaps I am quick to dismiss a work of genius–if I would only just read a sample!–but no. I am content to be mean. I am shallow and judgmental and I’m totally okay with that.

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So, I read a lot when I am given the time, and I definitely had a lot of that when I was home. Reading and eating. I think I’ve gained about 15lbs since coming back to LA. Oh dear. Anyway! Books! Books I have read and will now review for you! KUSHIEL’S MERCY by Jacqueline Carey and FLORA SEGUNDA by Ysabeau Wilce.

Review of Kushiel’s Mercy by Jacqueline Carey

Kushiel's Mercy by Jacqueline Carey

I had hoped to buy this in mass market paperback because all of my other Kushiel books are in paperback, but I got impatient. And now I’m annoyed because I’m obsessive-compulsive about my books. REGARDLESS, I picked this up on Boxing Day and finished this behemoth very nearly in one go (interrupted only by my junior high reunion).

In my review of Kushiel’s Justice, I gave a brief summation of the events prior so I won’t bother here. To offer some brief background information, Imriel de la Courcel nó Montrève and his royal cousin the Dauphine Sidonie had embarked on an tumultuous, politically rife affair before Imriel left Terre d’Ange to pursue a marriage of state to Dorelai mab Bredaia of Alba. Unfortunately, this was in defiance of their god Blessed Elua’s precept of Love as thou wilt for while Imriel came to love and admire his wife, he was in love with Sidonie. The ensuing heresy (however well-intentioned) has horrific consequences, resulting in a chase across Vralia in search of vengeance and the “coming out” (so to speak) of Imriel and Sidonie as lovers.

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I really ought to follow the WordPress development blog/changelog more often so that when I do update to the next version I’m not completely and utterly shocked by the new interface. But I extend wholehearted kudos; it’s much more intuitive and faster-loading than the previous versions. In another life I was a computer programmer of some sort; if I had any skill with mathematics I might have found happiness spending my extra time coding. Ah well, as my mother says, “It’s not too late.” If I weren’t chronically lazy, of course.

Kushiel's Chosen by Jacqueline Carey.

I’ve been on a Dark Ages kick lately for completely unfathomable reasons. I left my penchant for the sword-and-sorcery genre with my single-digits, although recently the thought of flowing princess dresses and swashbuckling sounds appealing to me. Recently I’ve been up late watching the extra documentaries on my Lord of the Rings DVDs and rereading Lloyd Alexander’s The Chronicles of Prydain in addition to the Kushiel’s Legacy books by Jacqueline Carey. The Lord of the Rings I understand; the movies were released around December and it is a bit of the So Cal Jones Family tradition to watch all 12 hours around Christmas every year. (I’m saving the movie experience for my family but am satiating my desire for medievals by watching the behind-the-scenes stuff instead.)

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A cigarette fast is easy to maintain when your mother is in town, who so heartily disapproves of them to the point that she almost disowned you when she found out you smoked, and you are staying with her at the Hilton New York this week in order to escape The Hovel Where I Live.

Despite my decreasing desire for a cancer stick, the fact of an oral fixation isn’t as easy to break.

Mum: Stop biting your fingernails.
JJ: I can’t help it! I can’t sm—I have an or—I just—ARGH!

I can’t exactly tell her that I am trying to quit smoking when I assured her that I quit months and months ago nor can I exactly say that I have an incurable oral fixation, which would probably have her jumping to kinky (and most likely justifiable) conclusions about my sex life. If I had, one of the following three scenarios could have occurred.

Scenario One

Mum: Stop biting your fingernails.
JJ: I can’t help it! I’m trying to quit smoking and I have an oral fixation.
Mum: YOU HAVEN’T QUIT SMOKING YOU LIED TO ME WAH WHY ARE YOU SO IRRESPONSIBLE GET OUT OF THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW I AM NEVER GOING TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN AND DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT HAVING FREE FOOD ON MY TAB!

Scenario Two

Mum: Stop biting your fingernails.
JJ: I can’t help it! I’m can’t smoke and I have an oral fixation.
Mum: OMG YOU LIKE GIVING HEAD????? WHY ARE YOU HAVING SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE???? IT’S SO INAPPROPRIATE! IF YOU AND TEDDY BEAR DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN EXCHANGE CHASTE KISSES GOODBYE I WILL KILL HIM!

(My mother blissfully believes that I am pure and virginal as the snow/a unicorn/an untainted damsel-in-distress because sex does not exist in my family. I will not disabuse her of that notion because it means I have to acknowledge that my parents have sex and I really don’t want to think about that. Also, my mother’s Church is a direct descendant of the Puritan faith while my dad comes from a family of Mormons.)

Scenario Three

Mum: Stop biting your fingernails.
JJ: I can’t help it! I can’t smoke and I have an oral fixation.
Mum: You know, if you want, you should perform/ingest/imbibe some mystical Korean remedy that I will find for you which will miraculously cure you of that problem.

(Since my grandmother’s mystical Korean remedy for allergies really did miraculously cure me I am not one to scoff at such things. I love how my Asian family’s usual initial reaction to situations is to offer Oriental medicine as panacea. We shall see how well the magical mushroom powder from Jeju Island my mother brought with her this time will work on making me thin.)

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