Uncreated Conscience

Oh look, an ice storm! On my fire escape! Pretty, but OH-SO-INCONVENIENT.

Dear winter: I am so over you it’s not even funny. In addition to the 50+ inches of snow you’ve dumped on the city this year, last night you saw fit to send us an ice storm. Which is gorgeous, by the way. Bravo, it’s one of the prettiest sights I’ve ever seen. But however pretty it might be, it is also incredibly inconvenient, especially as I don’t have a pair of skates to strap to my feet so I can glide my way to the subway station. I made my TV debut this morning by taking a header in the background of some reporter’s weather segment. Still, despite the slipping and sliding, it is kind of fun to crack the film of ice on top of snow like the glaze of a crème brûlée.

When I finally made it to my desk this morning, I saw that the internets was stirring itself into a frenzy over Bitch Magazine‘s inclusion and subsequent removal of a few books from their 100 Young Adult Books For The Feminist Reader. Mentioned in particular was Margo Lanagan’s TENDER MORSELS, the content of which includes incest, rape, and horrific violence. A reader said the book was triggering and asked that it be removed from the list.

Other people have said better than me why the inclusion and then removal of a few select books based on one reader’s comments is troubling (because heaven knows there are a ton of other books on that list with triggering content), but it made me think about “triggers” in general, especially as I had an experience myself last night.

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The wall is 2011. The unfortunate bug on the windshield is me.

So 2011 hit me like a mack truck and it’s only the second week. First, my dearest, most darling Psychic Roommate has told me she is moving out. I am sad to be losing a good friend and roommate, but the stress of finding someone by February 1st has been driving me insane. Do you know of anyone who needs an apartment?

Second, last week I was pickpocketed on the subway. I live in New York City; I ought to have been more vigilant about these things. I was reading (of course I was reading) on my commute home and realized my wallet was stolen when I tried to order Indian takeout. I have lived 7 years in this city and have never before had an incident, which just goes to show how one shouldn’t become complacent. I canceled all my credit cards and filed for ID replacements, so all the perp got from me was the $2 I had in my wallet. Enjoy it, buddy! $2 doesn’t even buy you a slice of pizza these days in New York.

I am taking a mulligan on 2011. I am convinced the first week was dress rehearsal for the real thing. I promise I shall return with more cheerful posts in the future; I just gotta get my life straightened out first! Ugh.

New Photo Friday this week! This week’s theme is Subway Shenanigans and The Coming Fall in New York City.

I love yellow leaves. They're my favourite fall color.

Exposure 0.04 sec (1/25)
Aperture f/1.8
Focal Length 50 mm
ISO Speed 800

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So I tried to get a few rolls of film developed, but unfortunately none of the shots came out. I think something’s up with the Canon (who still has no name, poor thing) so I need to have her checked out. :(

Nothing much going down for this Photo Friday. Haven’t had much opportunity to shoot anything, as I’d been alternating back and forth between Argos and the Canon. This week’s theme is New York City (how unoriginal, but what can you do?).

W. 18th St.

Exposure 0.003 sec (1/320)
Aperture f/4.0
Focal Length 50 mm
ISO Speed 800
Exposure Bias -2 EV

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My apartment is currently in such a state of flux I don’t even know what to do with myself. Life has overturned itself fairly quickly in the past month as to my great sorrow (but to her great delight), my wonderful friend and roommate Wicked Cool Riley announced she was moving in with her boyfriend The Loveseat.

Since then it has been a whirlwind of temporary roommates, juggling bill payments, moving in, and moving out that I just want to throw my hands up in the air and shout, “I love you all, but sort this amongst yourselves!” On top of all this, the apartment is a cluttered mess and while I don’t actually mind clutter or mess, my brain tends to break apart when confronted with both at the same time.

Anyway, I meant to blog about my trip to the Bronx Zoo I took with my (soon-to-be new) roommate Rachel and our friend Jen took on Monday and have only just mentally gotten my shit together.

White-Harp at the Bronx Zoo

I haven’t been to a zoo in years so I leaped at this chance to go see the animals, as well as do a bit of live-sketching. (Pictures and sketches beneath the cut.)

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This past weekend I went down to New Brunswick to see my Teddy Bear (sorry to have missed you, Katranna!) and I simply could not get over how gorgeous the weather was and how it smelled distinctly like…vacation.

There’s a certain scent that I associate with summer, with warm weather, with lazy afternoons when heat settles over my shoulders like a comfy blanket, and it was all over New Jersey. I can’t quite articulate what the scent is, but it’s equal parts fresh-cut grass clippings, sprinkler-wet asphalt, and wide open skies. It smelled like driving up Pacific Coast Highway with the windows rolled down, like jumping out of the Skyvan with a Pilot 190 on my back, like hiking through Eaton Canyon or the Arroyo with the sharp, tart scent of green and growing things muffled by dirt.

In New York the smell is often hidden by the exhaust fumes and subway tracks and hot garbage, but out in the wilds of New Brunswick, it was everywhere in evidence. I couldn’t help walking around, taking enormous whiffs of it, practically getting high with giddiness. This scent is my equivalent of the high school kid locking himself in the janitor’s closet and huffing a can of paint. My seasonal affective disorder includes the flip side: manic happiness during the warmer months. I am most certainly skewing more manic these days: waking up earlier and earlier, going to bed later and later and actually becoming productive creatively.

Speaking of which, I’m now 50,000 words into revisions. I seem to be able to write best on trains and planes.

To All My Los Angeles Friends

I will be in California in May I would love to be able to meet up with you! I’m flying in Monday, May 18 and flying back Sunday, May 24. Evil Twin Vendë, I’m looking at you.

Soon I shall be leaving behind the cold, slushy snow and will be back in the bosom of my family in Los Angeles. I can’t wait, although I am glad to have experienced New York’s first significant snowfall of winter before I leave.

Yesterday Bear and I and some of his friends from medical school spent the day as tourists in New York, wandering around the Christmas displays and skating in freezing cold weather. It was glorious (despite the bone-numbing cold) and beautiful in a nearly surreal way. Snow? Christmas in New York? Am I in a movie?

Winter Wonderland

I shall miss my Teddy Bear but my god, I am ready for some sunshine. Will write again from Los Angeles!

The vernal equinox was all of three days ago and already my spring allergies have returned with a vengeance. A few years ago, my grandmother, sympathizing with my plight, came offering some mystical Korean medicine that she swore would cure my discomfort. It smelled and tasted like shit, and I don’t even want to know what the hell went in it, but she was right. I was cured.

Or at least, I was cured until I spent my semester in London. Coming back to New York, my body blithely decided that it was going to consider each and every little allergen a foreign and vicious sickening agent and attack it with a vengeance, rendering me completely incoherent for three months with a perpetual head cold.

I. Am. Miserable.

I also hate Dell computers, if purely for aesthetic reasons. They are ugly and stodgy and their keyboards suck. I just replaced my horrid Dell monitor with a shiny silver HP one today at work and now I’m covetously eyeing the computer behind me, with the futuristic-looking keyboard and spiffy mouse. (Did I just use the word “spiffy?” Clearly I’ve had too many cups of coffee today or not enough.)

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