I Am Fat & Sassy!

I could have quoted my other favourite line from Don Hertzfeldt’s Rejected, but I figure “For the love of God and all the is holy, my anus is bleeding! (Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!)” wouldn’t fly as a title.

Firstly, whoever created this is a graphic genius. S/he should have my brainchildren:

LOST Showdown

LOST Showdown

My favourite is Ben’s look of utter bewilderment by “You will be stunned!” (Benry, I love you!)

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Contrary to Popular Opinion, I AM Good at Denying Things

I am stressed about something, but I can’t quite pinpoint what exactly it is I am stressed about. Certainly looking for a full-time position while revising my novel and trying to juggle familial and romantic expectations at the same time is wearying, but not exactly stressful. Yet my body is carrying the weight across my shoulders and I have been having the most bizarre dreams ever. For instance, last night I dreamt I was in a shoppe looking for a pair of jeans when the saleslady refused to sell me a pair because they were 27″ short and “only for fat girls.” I said I didn’t care if they were for fat girls, all I wanted was a pair of jeans that fit. (For the record, I hate this two sizing system nonsense when it comes to pants. Also, the inch measurements are a total lie. I don’t have a 27″ waist. I wish I did. The “waistband” doesn’t even reach the natural waist. Anyway, carry on.) The dream then morphed into another one where I was in a house and watching someone jump from the Skyvan, except he didn’t open his parachute and just crashed into the hedge by my house. He got up and shook himself off and walked away. In his place there was a really ugly and deformed cat that I was expected to love and care for except all I could feel was revulsion.

Now, people who are well-versed in dream interpretation, tell me those aren’t the product of stress! But what am I necessarily stressed about? I have no clue. Life is generally pretty good for a person like me. Those who have known me long enough know I don’t spazz without sufficient reason. I haven’t spazzed out yet.

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Wrecked, My Friend, Wrecked

I haven’t been in a blogging sort of mood lately, mostly because I can’t quite think of topics to blog about that aren’t related to my life (to be fair, I blog about my life all the time, but since working at The Literary Agency I have tried to include musings about publishing). I made good on my promise to be productive on my week off from work and did some significant revisions on my own novel in addition to (gasp!) cooking for myself and doing yoga.

Speaking of yoga, I went to a hot yoga class at Yoga to the People last night and I have never been more wrecked after a practice in my life although I will also say that I have felt better either (this morning that is). I’ve been practicing yoga on and off since high school (more off than on, sadly) and I thought I could survive 90 minutes of poses in a sauna.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. I am ashamed to say that I couldn’t participate in more than 20% of the class. I had never felt closer to fainting than in that class; I had to spend a lot of the standing poses in Child’s pose or else modify them somehow. It was fairly crowded but the instructor was great at giving us all individual attention and pushing us to our edge without ever hurting us. I tottered home after it was done and climbed straight into bed without dinner or a shower; I was that wrung out.

…I may have to go again tonight.

Today at work is mostly spent inventorying books and sending out the requests and rejections from El Jefe’s slush pile. I am on pins and needles waiting for the partial of the time-travel book. I hope it’s good.

Also, I will probably walk to Border’s after work and get CITY OF GLASS by Cassandra Clare. If Jace and Clary end up siblings I will eat my hat. And I have an extensive hat collection.

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Breaking My Resolutions As Soon As I Make Them

How lovely it is to be home and smelling like oneself again! After two weeks of showering at my parents’ place, indulging in my favourite products from The Body Shop is a joy. My skin is an utter wreck from travel and the dry, polluted air around southern California but hopefully a few days of my skincare regimen and all will be well again.

I think in the past month I’ve cycled from Writing Muse to Webdesign Muse to Drawing Muse to Arts & Crafts Muse. Why can’t I call upon the ones I need at will? Right now I need to be revising (working on that 2009 resolution to send out Elijah’s Chariot) but instead I am contemplating more crafty things. Like knitting.

Katranna once said to me of skydiving, “My other friends have hobbies like knitting. You jump out of planes.” Well, as it’s too cold to be jumping out into the open right now and the season doesn’t start up again until May, I’ve decided knitting was a good alternative. You know…stabby…pointy…needles. And fluffy yarn. Nice combination, right? I have the idea to recreate this scarf from ModCloth, except with a felt White-Harp appliqué. Should be fairly simple (I hope); I know how to knit a scarf anyhow. I ordered a set of knitting and crochet needles of different gauges as well as Stitch ‘n’ Bitch: A Knitter’s Handbook to get me started. I haven’t decided on what yarn and what colours I want to use for the scarf though.

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