What’s in a Name?

Sara Crew, A Little Princess.

It’s not that I find the name Sarah shameful, not really. As far as names go it’s decent; it’s not like Hepzibah or Mehitable or some other unfortunate name that causes children to get the shit kicked out of them at school. It means “princess” in Hebrew. Sara(h) is the virtuous protagonist of Frances Hodgson Burnett’s A Little Princess, the eponymous heroine of Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia Maclachlan, and the subject of many a fine song including Bob Dylan’s “Sara.” No, there is nothing wrong with Sara(h), except for one thing: It is extraordinarily boring.

In 1985, the year I was born, “Sarah” was the fifth most common girl’s name in the United States, if not the world. Like other children with common names, this caused some slight difficulties when I entered elementary school. With the seats crawling with five or six girls who were called the same thing, by necessity we had to resort to creative ways of referring to ourselves: Artistic Sarah, Sara without an H, Short Sarah, Tall Sara, etc. Eventually “Sarah” simply became a bland qualifier, to the point where I still view the name is some disdain. “Oh,” say I, “It’s just so dull.” I longed for an unusual or romantic name, like the names I found in books: Elizabeth, Mary, Guinevere, Belinda, Artemisia, Lenore. (I was pretentious, even at the tender young age of nine.)

The final straw that broke the camel’s back was freshman year of university. I had a lovely roommate whom I loved and adored, with whom I shared my thoughts, my dreams, my grievances and…my name. Since we both felt the same disdain for Sarah, we eventually changed it: she to Eliza and me to JJ.

I stumbled across the nickname “JJ” by accident. On the first day of junior honours English, as my teacher was calling roll, he read aloud, “Jae-Jones, Sarah. Jae-Jones. The Great Miss JJ. JJ.” And that was that. It was as though I had been christened anew. I liked my new name; I liked it for many reasons: it was unisex (ambiguous to gender really), it was concise, and most importantly, it was unique.

Therefore I strongly insist that you call me JJ. I do not answer to anything else and while I realise this causes some confusion when you are trying to look me up on Facebook or when you try and input my name into your phone, I am afraid it is a cross you have to bear. A ubiquitous name is one I have had to bear for my entire life.